The EXIT

By Cali Hill Lindenfelser

Have you ever felt so alone that you just wanted to find that EXIT door?

Isolated and caught up in hidden despairs of emotions, drowning you, you feel as if no one sees you or sees what you’re going through. You begin to fantasize that the EXIT door is your escape, a way to another world of freedom, acceptance, and a worry-less life.

But as you snap back to reality, you’re quickly reminded of those towering feelings of heaviness and sadness. You have the perspective of complete loneliness and feel as if talking about it, or even mentioning it to anyone, would somehow make it worse. So you keep it hidden, tucked away in your mind and in your heart.

You want to feel and not feel, cry and not cry—all at the same time. You feel depressed and raw like David in the cave. You just want to EXIT out of life.

Listen to how David the psalmist felt:

I cry out loudly to God,
    loudly I plead with God for mercy.
I spill out all my complaints before him,
    and spell out my troubles in detail:

 

“As I sink in despair, my spirit ebbing away,
    you know how I’m feeling,
Know the danger I’m in,
    the traps hidden in my path.
Look right, look left—
    there’s not a soul who cares what happens!
I’m up against it, with no exit—
    bereft, left alone.
I cry out, God, call out:
    ‘You’re my last chance, my only hope for life!’
Oh listen, please listen;
    I’ve never been this low . . . .”  (Psalms 142:1-7 MSG)

 

My friend . . .

You are not alone

You are not alone . . . when you feel.

You are not alone . . . when you feel like crying

You are not alone . . . when you feel like crying for your children

You are not alone . . . when you feel like crying for your children because your heart hurts

You are not alone . . . when you feel like crying for your children because your heart hurts for them

You are not alone . . . when you feel like crying for your children because your heart hurts for them, for the decisions they make without thinking, or the decisions they make without rationalizing, because they lack the sense of awareness, responsibility, or the emotional compass surrounding them and others

You are not alone . . . when you feel like crying for your children because your heart hurts for them, because he/she does not understand why their special and unique brain works the way that it does

You are not alone . . . when you feel like crying for your children because your heart hurts for them, because she/he can’t seem to “check out” of their reality for just a moment to witness true reality

You are not alone . . . when you feel like crying for your children because your heart hurts for them, on a much greater level, for your true desire as a mother is to connect on a deeper level with their heart and it has been hijacked by the enemy

You are not alone . . . when you feel like crying for your children because your heart hurts for them, feeling as if you’re the mother and the father in the home, and all the emotional, relational, and spiritual “suitcases” are always empty, and you’ve forgotten how to pack

You are not alone . . . when you feel like crying for your children because your heart hurts for them, because you feel as if you’ve failed as a parent somehow, and they would be better off with an enthusiastic, motivated, perfect role model other than yourself

You are not alone . . . when you feel like crying for your children because your heart hurts for them, because they must face the reality that out there is a fleshy world that is not kind or compassionate to their needs and responses

You are not alone . . . when you feel like crying for your children because your heart hurts for them, because of constant apologies made unnecessarily regarding excessive and uncontrollable behavior displayed at the worst times and for illogical reasons

You are not alone . . . when you feel like crying for your children because your heart hurts for them, for all of them—even the ones who understand but are overwhelmed themselves and can’t express their own frustrations

You are not alone . . . when you feel like crying for your children because your heart hurts for them, knowing that things are always going to be a struggle, that the medicine is a coping mechanism to relieve some of the pressures now but eventually they will grow up . . . , what then?

You are not alone . . . when you feel like crying for your children because your heart hurts for them, thinking maybe this relationship your in isn’t healthy and it’s a means to an end

You are not alone . . . when you feel like crying for your children because your heart hurts for them, wondering if this life will ever be different from what you were raised in, or if it will be more of the same dysfunctional mess

You are not alone . . . when you feel like crying for your children because your heart hurts

You are not alone . . . when you feel like crying for your children

You are not alone . . . when you feel like crying

You are not alone . . . when you feel

You are not alone…

God is always with you!

But you, Israel, are my servant. You’re Jacob, my first choice, descendants of my good friend Abraham. I pulled you in from all over the world, called you in from every dark corner of the earth, Telling you, ‘You’re my servant, serving on my side. I’ve picked you. I haven’t dropped you.’ Don’t panic. I’m with you. There’s no need to fear for I’m your God. I’ll give you strength. I’ll help you. I’ll hold you steady, keep a firm grip on you.

(Isaiah 41:8-10, MSG, writer emphasis)

person_young_woman_girl_skirt_summer_light_sun-883971

God is ever-so-near to us and ever-so-near our emotional needs that need to be met, for He chose us.

He doesn’t leave us in our messes to torment us; He draws to us as we draw closer to Him. He calls us from the dark corners that entangle our hearts and minds and remind us that He is on our side.

God holds us in His steadfast hand and strengthens us with the promise of never letting go, never giving up, and never giving in. The panics of  ‘where do I run now? where is my EXIT?’ are at peace, knowing God is our rescuer. He rescues by keeping a firm grip on us like a firefighter in an actual fire. He runs toward the fire, searching for victims, rescuing them and identifying their needs immediately.

There is no other EXIT plan that we should be looking for other than in Him.

The light at the top of the doorway—when the world of isolation or fear come running in to ravage the hearts and minds of our souls—is lit up, declaring GOD is the ALMIGHTY! He is our go-to. We can safely run to Him because He knows us so intimately.

He is our Safeguard, our Rescuer, and our Healer. For within the arms of God, we are not alone.


Get to know Cali . . .Cali-pic-sm

­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­Cali Lindenfelser is a “beloved daughter of the King,” servant of Jesus Christ, devoted wife, and mother to seven—both birthed and chosen. Once a “runaway,” Cali is now a “fiercely adored, born-again believer” in Jesus Christ who isn’t shy or hesitant to share the ways Jesus has invaded her heart.

Cali’s Testimony:

Through victories and triumphs, heartbreak and tragedies, Cali has truly surrendered herself to Christ and is allowing God to reshape her from the wounds and ruins of her past. Although God got ahold of her heart at age nine, and she accepted Christ as her Savior, her adolescent years were challenging. Like many, she made poor choices.

At 18, Cali married and became a young mother without much direction. As her family grew, she grew depressed and anxious. Poor choices ultimately led her to divorce.

Tired, broken, and without hope for a future by age 25, Cali returned to church, “reluctantly.” The following spring, and many tearful prayers later, she walked into church and was immediately met by God’s grace and mercy. “That was the beginning of my new journey with Christ. I joined a discipleship study and began to see a change in myself. I rededicated my life to Christ.”

Three years later, Cali made the pivotal decision to be baptized publicly—a demonstration of the transformation taking place in her life. Many life experiences and opportunities led Cali to put her full faith and hope in Jesus, to grow into God’s calling on her life, and to thrive as believer. “I choose to serve the Lord through the Bride of Christ (the church) with my whole heart.” Her passions are many and her heartbeat is women’s discipleship, worship, writing, and other creative arts.

“I’m so thankful for what Jesus has done for me and in me. My prayer is that women will not give up hope in what Jesus can do, and will do, in their hearts and their homes.”

Cali’s past no longer defines her and her future is open and ready to be conquered with the empowering Spirit of God at work in her.


WE WELCOME YOUR TESTIMONY, PRAISES, ART INSPIRATIONS, BIG IDEAS, DEVOTIONS and more . . .  Contact jen@sara-ministry.com

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